SON OF CARNAK

Today the SON of the all-mystic, all-knowing, all-seeing and former head of FEMA,
Carnak, will divine the answers to questions without having ever seen the questions, with the help of Eddie MacMahon Jr.
They have been hermetically sealed inside a mayonaise jar on Funk and Wagnall's porch since noon today.
Son of Carnak must have silence, as he often gets.

(May a Whirling Dervish disappear under your sister's dress!)

#1 ---Peas Porridge Hot (peas porridge hot)-- For what symptom would you advise your brother to see a Urologist!

--- Fan Mail (fan mail) -- What did Cleopatra call her Man Servant?

--- Chinese Checkers (chinese checkers)--- What would you call price-help people at Wal-Mart?

--- The Men Who Stare at Goats --- Who would you probably not invite to your next mixer?

--- Dusty Springfield (dusty springfield) --- what kind of rifle needs cleaning.
(May an incontinent yak crash your brunch social)

--- Intellectual Property--- what's a synonym for a "wise-acre"?

--- Kill Bill (kill bill) ---what was Hillary's first thought after hearing about Monica Lewinsky?

--- Get a long little doggy!(get along little doggy)---How might you advise someone to buy a dachshund?

--- The Public Option (the public option)---what would you have to choose if you couldn't find a restroom?

--- Montezuma's Revenge (montezuma's revenge)---What did one critic call "Lopez Tonight"?