*** Niece Sultrina will be the end of me!!---now she says she’s expecting a lot of money because some guy offered her a job where she’ll get “plenty of Money Shots and be showered with pearl necklaces!!”
*** I just saw a movie about a white man and his encounter with a South American Indian tribe—“The Man Who Loves Cats Doing the Mambo”
*** I really appreciate my wife’s sexual favors---about every three months she’ll say ”Alright already! I’ll do you a favor!”
*** I went to the supermarket the other day to buy an ice-scream scoop.
The help searched the whole store for the item and finally found one out-of-place, way up on a shelf consisting of ketchup, tobasco, and other such condiments.
Well, as an ex-reporter that's the first time I can say I got a scoop from highly-placed sauces"!
*** On this Veteran's Day, I think of my dad, who as an accordion player with the USO entertained the troops in the South Pacific---unfortunately, due to bad eyesight he was inadvertently playing for the Japanese, and even repeated requests for "My Yokahama Mama" and " Sweet Tokyo Rosie O' Grady" did not set off any warning bells!
He was the only USO entertainer to be Court-Martialed after the war, but was pardoned and given a medal for "incalculable damage to the enemy cause" when they heard his rendition of "Lady of Spain" and "Roll Out the Barrel".
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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