Nirvana Cigars

N’Armistice Day!!...uh, I mean Namaste!!
On a day of lousy karma and perturbation to the spirit, Krishna Morty took solace in the ingestion of divine plants that, through the glory of Krishna, impart a feeling of well---I’ll put it this way---poor man’s Nirvana.
Or to use the common parlance--- boy this is some killer shit!!
DISCLAIMER: Krishna Morty does not advocate the use of mind altering substances, however he does have a friend who hails from Kingston---he works in an ER there, I call him The Kingston Triage--- but, nevermind!

You must show forgiveness to Krishna Morty, it looks like it’s all over between me and Sylviadayenta.
Yes, she’s retained the services of a mystic lawyer, Saigoobytuyurhaus, and is suing me for divorce---the grounds?
–Mental Cruelty---she claims I’m usually not only cruel, but mental!---

Oh well, if it’s disharmony and discord she wants , then it’s disharmony and discord she's gonna get, buddy!!
I got some bad karma up my sleeve (as well as an Ace of Spades in case the serendipity of a high stakes poker game is a stop on my path)) and I’m gonna let her have it like it’s nobody’s business---so don’t ask me---it ain’t your business.
Krishna Morty kids!!--- He does not object to hanging his dirty sacred robes in public! It seems it's all the raga these days.
(Just a historical note: long before Scott Joplin and Eubie Blake, we had Ragatime in the East)

First , her complaints:

--I have an annoying 'Holier than EVERYBODY' attitude! Well, if you got it, flaunt it, says I!

She says I don’t know the value of a dollar---nonsense, I tell her—"It’s about 31 cents now!! I watch Lou Dobbs!!"

She wants me to moonlight as a door-to-door Wikipedia salesman.---her lack of intelligent consciousness knows no bounds!

I habitually wander off the Ashram and have carnal knowledge of other females---Hey, what can I tell ya---that “My wife doesn’t understand me!” line rings true to women---they know that no one in the world understands me!”

I forget to screw the cap back on the toothpaste---she says, “And that’s two things you forget to scre..." well, I'll not subject you to this vulgar woman's appalling indelicacy and disrespect for the Kama Sutra---speaking of which, she says I spend inordinate amounts of time in the bathroom with.

I neglect to put the toilet seat back down (one thing Krishna Morty reveres in lesbian marriages (besides thinking about them that is …er…hm!) No doubt that problem infrequently arises (sadly, much like Yours Holy---but that’s another saga and a very unsettling one to to a body in chi energy harmony!)
(Relatedly, Krishna Morty often ponders if in gay male spiritual union, arguments ensue over not leaving the seat up!!)

I can’t speak French! (this is very inside and Krishna Morty fears he may be have reached betrayed a level of arcane omniscience too problematic for the amusement of the abode)

My greatest sorrow and heartache is that I’ve been advised by the hired gun that I will probably not fare well in the custody battle over our son, Ayntwurthatinkasdam---Yes, they say I should brace myself for "winning" custody of him.

In closing, Krishna Morty feels great remorse that he failed to follow his revered father, Ilgivusumtheengtocryabowt’s advice: “Stay single and raise your children that way too!”

CATCH YA IN YOUR FLIP-FLOPS!!