*** Well, I fell for that “Cash for Gold” thing---they sent me The Man in Black’s Greatest Hits.
*** When asked my marital status I always say "Taken"-—my wife takes me for about $50 a day!!
*** I asked the wife what she thought of my V-shape torso. She said, “Nice, but is the V supposed to be upside down?”
*** An unusual story out of Sea World in Orlando. It seems the staunch Catholic owner of the trained seal he leased to the attraction is suing them for feeding her fish on Friday.
*** Never buy a relaxation tape at Dollar Store---it was called “The Sounds of Nature” and featured the serenity-inducing sounds of two moose loudly mating near a bubbling brook.
Editorial: the following is the opinion of Arnie Harris and does not necessarily reflect that of management, TwainFile, Inc.:
+++ I always find it ironic that we broke a way from England in large part because it was a country that worshipped Royalty. So what happens:
We treat politicians like royalty, fearing to tell them in plain everyday language what crooks they are.
Meanwhile, in England the politicians get torn a new one constantly by the commoners, and, also by each other---I mean, did you ever see “Prime Minister’s Question Time” on C-Span? It’s a properly mannered lynch mob!+++
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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