Post Toasties Stress Syndrome

" THIS IS NEWS TO ME:

"Report: Bush mulled sending troops into Buffalo suburb"---ah, so that's where the WMD were!

"Black scholar Gates accepts White House meeting offer"---asked to use Servant's Entrance.

"Harry Patch, last British World War I soldier, dies at 111"--- what again??

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*** Uncle Max was arrested for molesting young women yesterday morning---his excuse was lame: "Mother said you should always start out fresh in the morning!!"

*** Medical history in a Nutshell--- Doctors started out using leeches, then they became leeches.

*** The poor job my chiropractor did on my last visit really got me bent out of shape!

*** A Cult Movie--a bad film that draws an aggregate of misfits with defective sensibilities.

*** I don't think it's hard to figure out Sarah Palin---just do the meth!

*** I asked my father when I was an adolescent how long a man's penis should be.
He drew on the the backwood's wisdom of Abe Lincoln, who said, when asked by a man how long a man's legs should be. "Long enough to reach the floor!!"
I said, "That's interesting dad. but what about a man's penis?"
"Long enough to reach the floor!" he said.