Timothy Leary's Dead and I'm Not Feelin' too Hot Myself!

*** So this Hindu, Buddhist and B'hai walk into a bar. They were rushed to the hospital unconscious.

*** Of course I believe in free will---I have no choice!

*** As the Buddha said, "Our needs are few, our wants are many"---as for me, I need a few good lawyers 'cause I'm wanted in 11 states!!

*** As the I Ching player said, "Life is just a roll of the dice!"

*** When I first started in the biz I was on a bill with a guy who did Tarot Card tricks.

*** That popular book Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Mechanics confused me greatly---I thought we're looking for Nirvana ---not Yamaha.

*** I was very disappointed upon viewing a TV show called Monk---it turns out it's about a man whose dharma is to apprehend strayers from the path, and who practiced peculiar, seemingly senseless, rituals---nothing I could relate to at all.

*** Sylviadayenta won't stop scolding me. Now it's my lovemaking---for reaching premature Nirvana!"

*** My wise holy teacher, Sovahtsupwidyu, took me aside one day and said "Existence is like a shaker of oregano"---I have never forgotten that remark, nor have ever understood what the hell it means!

*** The great mystical musician, George Harrison, told us that freedom can be reached by chanting the names of the Lord. Inspired, I created my own chant: "Allah... Buddha... Krishna... Ra,...Yahweh...Vishnu...Jesus, God, Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated"

*** I am often asked, "Krishna Morty---what do you consider the wisest, most enlightening book you have ever read.
I say, "Definitely infomercial king Kevin Trudeau's The Tao Kerching!! (can I get a Tambura shot?!)

*** I was greatly saddened by the death of David Carradine, a man whose show Kung Fu was a seminal factor in opening up Eastern ideas and philosophy to the West---Krishna Morty will save a disquisition on the perils of the Indian Rope Trick for another time.

*** Meditate on this: "Not a day goes by that another day doesn't go by" . How true. How True.