Show biz class act that he is, His Highly Holy and Suspect Krishna Morty, not wishing to conflict with the Premiere of "A Potshot in the Dark" by his dear friend acolyte and comedian extraordinaire(not to mention being one of the Jordanairs), "derektaylorshayne.blogspot.com".
This promo was totally unsolicited by Mr. Shayne, except for the C-note he promised me to write it.
Filling in is, direct from the afterlife, "Channeling Rodney---It's Been a Rough Eternity!!"
"I'm alright now, but in my last incarnations things were bad, I tell ya!!
Yeah, in one I was a Marine and Montezuma was screaming at me,"Get the hell out of my Hall!!"
Are you kiddin' me?--- In the Civil War, I was the dumb
Rebel soldier who accidentally shot Stonewall Jackson.
I was demoted to slave!
I'm tell'n ya, those incarnations were rough--- in the Cistine Chapel I was the guy holdin' the ladder for Michelangelo---by the time it was over I had more paint on me than the ceiling!!
It ain't easy---- I was one of the money changers Jesus threw out of the temple---Prince of Peace?? I was black and blue for 5 weeks!!
No respect--- Hannibal told me to bring up the rear of the elephants!
In World War II General Patton slapped me by mistake!
Mata Hari turned me down!! She said, "There's no secret I'll go that far for!!"
Okay, I was ugly even way back---Victor Hugo said he based Quasimodo on me!!
Even in ancient times, no respect---Noah told me--"sorry, we can't find a match for you!!
I told Philip of Macedonia when his son was born, "Alexander?!--how's he gonna command any respect with a name like that??!
I was at Convention Hall when Jefferson was writing the Declaration of Independence. I inspired an early, later revised phrase: "All men are created equal---except for that loser!!"
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
3 comments:
I wanna tell ya, His His Highly Holy and MORE than Suspect, KM truly is a class act!
What can ya say about a guru who after his last visit to the Hilton had the hotel managment re-counting the bedsheets?
No, but KM has been my personal spirit guide for years.
He'll not only guide you to the best spirits, but even the joints where on Wednesday nights ladies drink for free!
And after so graciously plugging my picture, I must remind you to pick up KM's latest book, "Re-incarnation on a Budget: How to Live Multiple Lives as Cheaply as One!"
...the C note's in the mail.
I will convey your good sentiments to KM---as you may know,we've been sleeping together for years!!
...bet that beard tickles.
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