Switching to Analog

*** I think it's true that couple argue the most about sex and money. My wife never gives me enough money to go out and have sex!

*** I read that Nelson, the music act consisting of Rick Nelson's twin sons, broke up. One went out on his own as Half Nelson.

*** Okay, I don't live in a upscale town. Someone just opened up a Cot and Breakfast

*** My poor struggling actress cousin, Ariel Lipschitz. ---I told her that if she stopped struggling some producer would probably cast her!
I know she can't be happy with her current gig as vocal coach to an actress playing Helen Keller in a "The Miracle
Worker" revival.
That's gratitude for what she did at one performance, when the actor playing the doctor showed up drunk and pronounced the newborn Keller dead.
My cousin, Ariel, thinking on her feet, ran out on the stage, and pretending to be a doctor with a second opinion, examined the baby and ad-libbed, "Okay, I got good news and bad news!"

*** Our local grocery store has again been cited by the Board of Health. This time they were sellin Sub-Prime Ribs!

*** Poor local obese woman had to move from her single-wide trailer into a double-wide. Seems she was 'too hippy for the house'.