THIS IS NEWS TO ME:
"Cold cases reopened after 13 bodies found in N.M. desert"---what a time to drink beer.•
"Mall wants to use Barry Manilow music to drive out unruly teens"---seems like 'Cruel and Unusual Punishment' to me.
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*** I was told my jokes had a certain "edge" to them---seems like I was making everybody edgy.
*** A sure ratings winner for next season has been announced: "America's Topless Model."
*** My niece claims to be celibate--yeah, more like she sells a bit all over town.
*** The brochure that led us up here was deceptive. I mean, I don't consider taking a leak in the yard, "Fashionable Watering Places".
*** I heard that at a recent Wheel of Fortune taping an increasingly depressed Vanna White spelled, "My life is empty and meaningless". Producers said she was just having a spell.
*** My wife told me I'm the "Leading Man" type. When I thanked her, she said, "Yeah, you could lead any woman to murder!"
*** Hey, they weren't kidding when they predicted a 50% chance of rain yesterday. It rained on our side of the street, but was sunny and fair on the other.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
1 comment:
Hey, way to win points with your niece!
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