*** My late Uncle Izzy, an avid golfer, who suffered several incidents of apoplexy, jokingly would say "I have a 5-stroke handicap!"
*** My great aunt is so proper. Even when she caught her grandniece having sex on the kitchen table, doggie-style, she severely chided her for having her elbows on the table.
*** My friend asked me how I keep coming up with all those jokes. I humbly thanked him. He said, "Uh, no---we keep locking the door and pretend we're out!!"
*** I just get all confused trying to do my tax returns. It says, "Subtract line 28 from line 34---okay, I get 6---then what?!!"
*** I have always been a very forward-looking person--- right now I'm looking forward to collecting social security.
*** If I'm on a fixed income how come I'm broke.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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