*** My psychiatrist said I use humor as a defense against feeling unable to cope with the real world---I tried to storm out of the office, but I couldn't remember which way the doorknob turned.
*** Some people are annoyed with the idea that an ancient calendar says the world will end in 2012. They're calling it The Audacity of Hopi.
*** I enjoy the Grammy's. I always want to keep up with the best in groups I never heard of and music I'll probably never listen to.
*** I think it bordered on tasteless when Jennifer Hudson, in her acceptance speech, said, "I'd lke to thank the murderer of my mother, brother and nephew for making this moment possible." (Oh no, you didn't,--Harris!!)
*** Okay, does Paul McCartney have a portrait in hs house that's hideously aging?
*** I love great jokes which is why I never subscribed to Readers Digest. As a matter of fact I stopped by the library yesterday at lunchtime to hear the Readers digest.
*** In his first press conference, President Obama spoke articulately, coherently, cogently, and with poise and confidence---I'm starting to think he really is a terrorist.
*** I wrote a novelty song that I hope to publish, "Standing on the Coroner Watching All the Ghouls Go By".
*** Okay, what's this thing with women about shoes. Don't they know that's probably the last thing we're lookin' at? Jeez!!, Incidentally, I think Imelda Marcos and Carrie Bradshaw are merely foot fetishists with money.
*** My wife said she was sick of my infantile behavior. I shot back, "Okay, then stop burping me!!"
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
1 comment:
I can help with that doorknob question. If you turn it towards PUSH, it opens and it you turn it towards PULL, it closes.
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