*** I don't think it's a good sign when a debt collector sends you your statement wrapped around a dead fish.
*** We got our mailman something special for Christmas---a new machete, hiking boots and anti-venom solution.
*** I enjoy that show "Food Detectives"---today they investigated to see if there was anything at all edible on McDonald's menu.
*** I asked my 98-year-old grandfather if he was going to watch the ball drop tonight. He said, "They're already touching the floor now!"
*** I remember watching New Year's Eve at Times Square with my mother and crying because I couldn't go out and have fun like the people on TV. Actually, that was last New Year's Eve.
*** This is the time of year , when , Hamlet-like, I ponder the question, "Should old acquaintances be forgotten??" Then I answer, no, they still all owe me money!
*** My wife and I always kiss at the stroke of midnight---one of these years we may kiss each other!
*** Reportedly, the New Years Baby, aware of the current world situation, is balking and may have to be delivered by Caesarian Section.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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