Vote Early, Vote Often

*** I told my wife that, with her bringing in most of the money right now, I felt like a "kept man"---she said, " Oh, don't worry, I won't be keeping you long!

*** Business partners Barnes and Nobles have split. In accordance with the pre-nuptial agreement, Barnes will be taking the Fiction, Nobles, the Non-fiction. "New Age" section will be contested.

*** Not sure I want a car that boasts "German Engineering"---didn't they also produce the Blitzkrieg?

*** I figured out the truth about Books-A-Million---they only actually have ten books, but a 100,000 copies of each!

*** Okay, according to that book, "The Secret", if I concentrate on and imagize something strongly enough it will come into my life---alright, it's been 9 weeks now and so far no sign of Charlene Therzon asking me if I can help her get out of those wet clothes!

*** Reportedly the Rwandan Hutu's have adopted the Jolson classic as their fighting song, "Tut, Tut, Tutsi goodbye!"

*** My wife says I spend too much time on the computer. "That's ridiculous!!" I e-mailed her.

*** I was watching that Christie Brinkley, Chuck Norris exercise infomercial, called "Washed Up But Toned".

*** Salmon Rushdie, who escaped a death Fatwa for his "Satanic Verses", may be in hot water again for writing the libretto to the upcoming Broadway musical, "Mohammed:Superstar!" The spiritual leader of Iran told him, "If Ayatollah once, Ayatollah three times!!"

*** Boy, my sister---she called me to ask what the daily dosage was for One-a-Day Vitamins.

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