THIS IS NEWS TO ME:
"Obama Offers Job Creation Plan"--- Unfortunately, they're all for Clinton administration members.
"Teen 'Buddha' Returns to Jungle to Meditate" --- Teeny boppers swoon "He's just divine", says one.
"Malaysian Islamic Council Bans Yoga for Muslims"---violators will do a stretch in jail
"Palin Fields Movie, Book Offers"---Is there any Jim Jones Kool-Aid left over?
• "Analysis: Chicago, Clinton camps feed Obama's incoming team"---oh, now they're caterers too!! Feeding them a line of bull, no doubt!
• "Iraq warns of consequences of an early U.S. pullout in 2011"---yes, a lot more people will have to remain alive.
• "Brothels see job applications surge amid ailing economy"--- An APPLICATION?? Previous positions held??
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***Another poor economy indicator---the local buffet place's sign says, All You Can Eat in Five Minutes!"
*** My wife says I should stop filling out job applications on the Internet and "Pound the pavement!"--Great, now I have casts on both my hands!
*** I warned my niece about putting her life story on the Internet, so she did an About Facebook!
*** I don't enjoy shopping with my wife anymore since she stopped letting me ride in the basket.
*** Reports are that Obama's getting a bit "uppity" since being elected. He's making Joe Bidens pick the cotton out of aspirin bottles.
*** I bought some sandalwood incense---now the house smells like toe jam.
*** One of my ex-girlfriends had Indian blood---she was a Never Ho.
*** Ashley Simpson and her husband welcomed a new baby boy whom they named Bronx Mowgli"--World gives massive Bronx Cheer. "Bronx? No thonx!" comments Ogeden Nash from afterlife.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
2 comments:
Let me guess. Your old girlfriend, Never Ho, wouldn't donate blood because she wasn't an Indian Giver.
Well, yes that's ...D-O-H!!
I later learned she married another Jewish guy and they named their baby Whitefish.
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