Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I Can't See Tiger Woods for the Tees.

*** I was very much a novice CBer in the 70's. The first time I spoke to someone, he asked "What's your handle?" I said, "The thing that opens the door."

*** Yeah, I really picked up the chicks in my van. But I sure left a lot of pissed-off hens behind.

*** I had a sticker on it, "If this van is a-rockin', call the police! Somebody stole it!"

*** One of my friends always got lots of girls, We called him "The backseat driver."

*** Reportedly the next James Bond film will involve his converting to Judaism, to be titled "Quantum of Talis".

*** More violence broke out in Jerusalem, amidst shouts of "Up against the Wailing Wall, motherfucker!"

*** Our area has a talk-radio station with a special line for phone callers who are fast talkers. It has 21-second delay.

*** My wife and I have some issues to iron out. On a recent sub-freezing night she yanked the blankets off me and put them on her plants.

*** She said if I don't find a job soon, we're gonna come to blows! I said, "Well, it's about time!"

*** According to a history of the Mafia, the Frankenstein monster was the first "Made Man".

*** My uncle was once stood up at the altar. He tried to remain positive. "Otherwise, everything went off without a hitch!"

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