As Freud said, "Oh to be Jung Again!"

THIS IS NEWS TO ME:

**"8-Year-Old Accused of Killing Father and One Other"---And people knock the Headstart Program.
** "Israelis, Palestinians pledge to continue peace talks"---hey, after 40 years, why quit now?
** "Asphalt shortage delays road maintenance projects across U.S"---Get those suppliers working double-time in the Asphalt Jungle.
**"Argument between monks becomes brawl at Jerusalem holy site"-- I could swear I saw this in a Woody Allen movie.
**"National Toy Hall of Fame bestows honor on the simple stick"--- In a related story, Mattel and Hasbro vie to buy up all US timber.

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*** My shrink said I'm a borderline schizophrenic, but he won't tell me which side of the border I'm on!

*** He asked me if I believed I had super powers---I said, "Other than the ability to leap tall buildings at a single bound, no."

*** He wondered whether I heard voices---"Well, I just heard yours!" I said.

*** I told him I thought I might have Multiple Personality Disorder. He referred me to Group Therapy!

*** When I told him I am overly emotional and sentimental, he diagnosed me as a "Ferklemptomaniac."

*** He wondered if I felt people were always talking about me behind my back. I said, "Wait a second, let me turn around and check."

*** He asked how I sleep at night. I said, "Usually horizontally!"

*** He asked if I thought I might have Attention Deficit Disorder. "Whatdya say??", I replied.

*** I told him , "Sometimes I think I'm a dog." He said, "Get off my damn couch!!"