Zing Went the Strings of My Corset

*** Well, my doctor gave me a clean bill of health---yep, I could see it clearly-- $4,650!

*** Is it just me or does a hair dryer have a small device in it that makes it sound like the phone is ringing while you're using it?

*** Sarah Palin was stretching it a bit when, trying to make political hay on the Wall Street crisis, boasted, "Well, you can betcha one thing we have in Alaska is Fair Banks!!

*** The Pentagon relented on its forbidding a soldier to bring home a puppy with him from Iraq. The cultured general responsible said he was reading Shakespeare too literally when he said, "...Unleash the dogs of war!"

*** My ditzy sister embarrassed herself when she went on Antique Roadshow with a timepiece with flourescent hands, claiming it was Rembrandt's "Night Watch"!

*** My uncle is sort of a low brow. He says his favorite painter is Earl Scheib!

*** I never knew that "eloquence" was a bad thing until McCain kept accusing Obama of it.

*** I think these automated telephone answering machines are messin' with our heads.
First they tell you that you you need to press #1 before the number, and then when you do, they tell you you don't have to. Then they say press pound after submitting a number, and then you don't have to. Then they tell you to say "yes" or "no", and then tell you to press # 1 or # 2! They always tell you, "Our menu has recently changed so pay close attention!" And then you get disconnected.

*** Vanilla Ice has been recruited by Sarah Palin to record for the campaign, "Drill, Baby, Drill in the Ice, Ice, Baby!"

*** A biography of Mary Queen of Scots who was dethroned and beheaded is being titled, "Untitled".