*** Despite optimistic assessments by the military and the administration, the mass purchase of "Surge-Protectors" by insurgents in Iraq has radically reversed progress.
*** You can tell the economy's in trouble---Wal-Mart's changed their sign to "Every Other Day Low Prices".
*** Modern-day piracy on the high seas---Fears that these buccaneers are connected to terrorism was confirmed when the parrot on the chief pirate, Long Abdul Silver's shoulder, squawked, "Polly wanna Reactor??!"
*** I went to buy a hat---the salesman asked, "Fedora?"---"No, " I said, "actually for myself!"
*** I told my wife that just because I don't like "Never My Love," "Windy" and "Cherish", I have no reason to feel guilt by Association!
*** Reports are that after his presidency ends, George Bush will model empty suits for a major clothier.
*** One old girlfriend was not overly attractive---I took her to Pamplona and the bulls ran away from her!
*** When I was visiting Arkansas, I left my toiletries behind. I don't care about the rest of the stuff, but I definitely want my Razorback!
*** Actor Ed Asner , asked of his opinion of Sarah Palin, shot back, "I HATE spunk!!"
The McCain camp dismissed it as just another Asner Attack!
*** I'm reading a book about the Lincoln assassination, and was astonished to learn that one clueless Washington drama critic found that evening's production of "Our American Cousin" to be "... the most exciting yet!!...Mr. Booth, in an unbilled cameo, made a strong impact on the President and followed that up with a death-defying leap to the stage where, before exiting stage left, he shouted out in Latin, "Sic semper tyranis", which means'''How am I doing??!"
Another interesting fact revealed was that it was a young John McCain who was holding Booth's horse for him outside the theater door and who told Booth to break a leg before the actor entered the theater.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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