*** My parents told me to "keep all your receipts!!" They didn't tell me when to get rid of them, though. I wonder if I can start throwing out the ones from before 1970.
*** From Mighty Folks little Acorn stories grow.
*** Nah, but Joe Biden's hair--the last time I saw so many plugs was at the end of Bonnie and Clyde!
*** I understand a slightly tipsy telephone operator approached him and started to re-connect his scalp.
*** Since I've been working, ahem, minimum hours, I have to empty my e-mail box every day of about a dozen offers of a loan "$1500---NO CREDIT---BAD CREDIT---AL QAEDA TERRORIST---We don't Care!!" Of course, they all want your credit card information.
One of 'em was really obvious in its larcenous intent. They asked, in addition, "What time are you not at home?"
*** I'm generally a peaceable man and I do believe in the rule of law, however, the
people responsible for those credit card commercials which end with some scuzzy, marauding barbarian demanding, "What's in your wallet??!!" Well, I sentence them to having their hair set on fire and then being given hammers to beat out the flames with.
*** I was asked to become a 'Christian Scientist.' I said , "No thanks, I'm a 'Jewish Scientist'---we have faith that if we fall ill, one of our doctor uncles or cousins will take care of it."
*** That kid on that popular Charlie Sheen sitcom. If he were really half a man, he'd ask for more money!
*** On psychiatrist said I had "strange thought patterns". Incensed, I responded, "I know you're what about talking don't"!!
*** Once when I was about to be beaten up by a band of ruffians, my friends said, "Don't worry---we got your back!' A lot of good that did! They were pummeling my face and kneeing my groin!!"
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
1 comment:
Like he said, WE'VE got your back.
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