Tuesday Welled

*** "I've seen fire and I've seen rain."---You gotta hand it to that James Taylor---he's been around!

*** My uncle likes to make himself sound important---"No," I told him. "Being on a demolition crew does NOT make you a deconstructive artist!!"

*** It's great being a baby boomer. Now I read "The World According to AARP"!

*** My sister just doesn't get it. I told her I was going to a Fire Sale and she asked me to bring her back some second-hand smoke.

*** A London actress confirmed that she will do a one-woman show about Princess Diane. Asked if she had any misgivings about her first foray into that dramatic form, the actress curtly replied, "No, the cast is Di!"

*** The man with the intellectual affectations said I was " 'an errant knave, scoundrel and poltroon'---that's Shakespeare!!" "'Fuck you!" I said---David Mamet!

*** I've decided to make an ash of myself and be cremated. I've instructed that my remains be strewn over Charline Therzon.

*** The mudslinging between the McCain and Obama forces over Sarah Palin is getting even uglier, as Obama called her, off-the-record, Mrs. Santa Claus.

*** Now , If Obama had said "putting lipstick on a PRIG"!

*** George Bush insisted that the US economy was still strong, inspite of the fact that foreign exchanges were in a nose dive. "Hey, that's their problem---we have our oceans to protect us!", said Bush.
In a related story, Busby Berkley's grandson is planning to produce remakes of "42nd Street", "Footlight Parade" and "Golddiggers of 2013". "They'll be all jazzed up with 21st century CGI---people are gonna need diversion!" said Berkley.

*** In a rather nasty item, Paula Deen's ex-husband said that if you woke her up in the middle of the night, she still said, "Y'all!" There were always several men in the bed!"