Took My Chevity to the Levity

*** The Dolphins have been so bad that the Miami D.A is considering indicting them for falsely impersonating a football team.

***Their coaching staff needs looking into---turns out that the coaches were listening to local country music stations on their headsets.

*** General Manager Bill Parcell said ," Tony SPARANTO??!--I thought we were hiring Tony SOPRANO!! as head coach!! We'll fix it!!---fugget about it!!"

*** And Ricky Williams, who apparently plays only in even numbered years, is stll having his problems with pot use---the coaches finally decided to leave 5 ounces of Kryptonite in the end zone as a motivator for him.

*** All the ways my wife has helped me increase my income---I have to hand it to her!

*** My ditzy sister saw the road sign, "Reduced Speed Ahead" and thought it was an ad for discount amphetamines!

*** My wife finally agreed to a menage a trois--- with some couple she met at work.

*** An exploding car bomb in Baghdad has been called one of the worst terrorist attacks of the war---or as the Iraqis call it, "Wednesday!"

*** The local school is very proud of being an "A School" So what, they still have 25 more letters to go!!

*** My son is no quitter. He's been fired from every job!