Thank god It's Viernes

*** History Channel had an interesting show about an alcoholic Bolshevik terrorist who kept drinking his Molotov Cocktails.

*** Have you noticed that the taped people on business phone messages are infinitely warmer and more spontaneous than the real people you wind up talking to?

*** My brother says Hello---thank God for speech therapy!

*** Our rich friends feed their horses Oat Cuisine.

*** Jeez, was my wife pissed after putting in a video tape she found, "Two Gals and a Guy" and realized it wasn't a romantic comedy.

*** I told the audience it was an inside joke---one guy yelled "You shoulda KEPT it inside!!"

*** I'm old enough to remember when NFL players got in trouble with the law AFTER they left the sport.

*** Reportedly cell phones are falling out of favor in Italy---too many Roman charges.

*** After my wife made clear all her grievances, I agreed to a separation---she chose my right shoulder.

*** My computer is courteous enough to be concerned with dinner ware---it keeps telling me to "Save my settings."

*** John McCain noted in his speech at the Republican Convention that the last time he spoke to a gathering that large was when he was the public service announcer at the Roman Colloseum.