Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Ten Cents a Dunce

*** Things look pretty bleak---I just saw the Joad family's jalopy ride past my house.

*** I mean things are bad---Ben just bought out Jerry!

*** Wachovia, huh? Shouldn't that have been "Walk Over Ya?!"

*** Pepsi is threatening Coca-Cola with a beveraged buyout!!

*** As usual, my sister is clueless---"What's all this 'Wall Street' vs. 'Main Street' stuff? A good movie vs. a good novel?? And if Dow Jones' average fell 778 points he should be sent down to the minors!!"

*** If you think Main Street's gonna get screwed, wait'll you see Martin Luther King Boulevard!

*** I went to my ATM and got an IOU!

*** Standard and Poor's just announced that the standard will soon be for everyone to be poor!

*** You know we're in trouble---Haiti just offered to bail us out!

*** Everyone's cuttin' back---I hear at Mcdonald's they're telling their counter help to say to customers, "You really don't want fries with that, do you?"

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