Just kiddin'

*** Okay, what's with these flippin' squiggly, funhouse letters my Internet provider makes me read every 4 days before I can do anything---what am I , sendin' a friggin' e-mail or being fitted for glasses?

*** Coming under heat for her support for an unnecessary pork barrel construction project in Alaska, Sarah Palin responded, "We'll cross that nonexistent bridge when we come to it!"

*** I asked a student in a church school whether it was too regimented. He said, "Sir, no Sir!"

*** Palin also reportedly is affiliated with a church that tries to convert gays into "normal" heterosexuals. Their motto is "'Semper Fi' not 'Sailor, Hi!'"

***Jews for Jesus"? Isn't that a consortium of Christmas toy manufacturers?

*** I wouldn't say my printer is slow but by the time it finished spitting out my book, the copyright had expired!

*** Boy this book I saw must really be for challenged people---"The Complete Idiot's Guide to Books for Dummies."

*** My wife and are in a trial separation---I watch Judge Hatchett while she watches Judge Judy.

*** Okay , this one's a bit esoteric---Paul James---"The Gardening by the Yard" guy on HGTV---Ned Flanders!! Am I right?

*** The judge it O.J. Simpson's latest trial sternly lectured the jury not to confuse the trial 14 years ago, which was about a Trophy Wife, with the current one, which is just about trophies.

*** But you gotta hand it to O.J.---despite his vile deed, he still has that celebrity charisma---I understand the bailiff at the new trial asked Simpson to autograph the Bible.

***