*** A guy asked if I was an observant Jew. I said, "Nah, I pretty much walk around with my head in the clouds."
***I think I've been had again--- a cell phone's not supposed to have a rotary dial, right?!
*** My son's a major stockholder in Wal-Mart---first he holds the stock then he puts it on the shelf!
*** I told my wife that one of the things I liked about her was that knowledge of old jokes was limited---She said, "Yeah, but I sure married one!"
*** Saw a saw a film yesterday about the Stradivarius family, "A History of Violins".
*** I knew a guy so lazy he moved to California because he was too lazy to shake his own martinis!
*** The misses used to be a topless dancer, but I got sick of seeing my wife flash before my eyes!
*** I wonder if the husband of the woman who says on all the business answering machines, "Sorry. I didn't understand you" complains that his wife doesn't understand him.
*** John Edwards said that "No one could beat me up more than I have beaten myself up!"---oh yeah? just wait'll his wife gets her hands on him in private!
*** Tibetan spiritual leader Dalai Lama, fed up with his country's oppressors' intransigent stance, was quoted as saying today, "Karma Shmarma! Lets kick some Chinese butt!!"
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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