Nuckin's Futs!

*** A prominent Afro-American magazine has just bought an airline--they're calling it Jet Black

*** Not sure I'm looking forward to that Space special on the Discovery Channel. It's advertising "Join us as we probe Uranus!"

*** The airlines are scrimping. On my flight back I got a small can of juice and a package of four cookies---and I was in First Class!

*** A recent initiative by the city of San Francisco to name a sewage plant after President Bush has met active resistance from the Society of Scientific Sewage Disposal as a "gratuitous defamation of our honorable and socially beneficial field."

*** So the Siamese Twins moved to England---the other one wanted HIS chance to drive!

*** I wonder if when Chang and Eng, the original Siamese twins died, they were buried in assymetry.

*** The Agoraphobia and Claustrophobia self-help groups will be meeting for the first time in the doorway of the Convention Center.

*** Wouldn't a more appropriate name for a woman's organization be 'Not N.O.W.'?

*** Obama has defended his slogan of "Change You Can Believe In" against growing skeptics, by explaining---"Hey, You better believe I'll be changing my stances as often as I need to!"

*** My dumb blond aunt thought she'd save money on breast implants by buying two cans of "Fix-A-Flat"!

*** John McCain vehemently denied allegations that his possible presidency would be a rerun of the Bush administration. "People who say that misunderestimate me as a man who wants this country's wings to take dream, and who wants to practice love with women all over this country as well as put food on their families!" said McCain.