*** I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
*** General Motors is trying to pass off its new model, the "Jackelope", as a hybrid car.
*** Ironic. I was playing 'here comes the airplane' with my elderly mother yesterday during supper, but she kept spilling it on my shirt.
*** I took the test for Mensa, but they suggested afterward that I try Densa.
*** Some creep sold me a bag of oregano, instead of pot. I knew I'd been had when I hallucinated that I was swimming in hot mozzarella cheese and sauce.
*** I only dropped acid once---boy did I badly burn my feet!!
*** I knew a guy so conceited , he joined the Navy so the world could see him!
*** I wouldn't say my aunt's breasts are drooping, but her bra size is 40-Long.
*** Insiders say that the actor playing The Mummy is all wrapped up in himself.
*** Egytologists tell us that King Tut's dismissive, belittling wife was named Queen Tut Tut Tut...
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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