They Call the Wind Hortense

*** I asked my wife about my "endurance"---she said, "Believe me! I've endured plenty!!"

*** Upon hearing of Russian aggression in Georgia, President Bush mobilized all available military forces to Atlanta.

*** I wouldn't say I've had a lot of TV dinners, but I start salivating whenever I see a piece of tin foil!

*** I told my son he was grounded---he answered, "Thanks dude, you seem pretty well centered yourself...cool..."

*** "The casting call for the Olympics Opening Ceremony brought 78 million hopefuls--however only 51 milion were needed, which meant heartbreak and tears for 27 million young aspirants---ALL documented on "Chinese Idol"--coming this fall to ABC---Be there Sept 9th when the 28-hour first episode documents the hopes, dreams and aspirations of the first 9 million eliminated --you'll come to know and love and feel for each one, like a personal family members".

*** I don't why the hell my Hispanic students kept calling me "Marty Cohen" when I was their teacher. Yeah, and something about 'two Mah-Day S 'puter!'

*** I told my wife a comic's a guy who thinks funny---she said, "Oh, so THAT'S why you think you're funny!"

*** I typed the word google into the Google Search Engine and downloaded EVERYTHING!

*** I'm so old I remember when people had only one waitress in a restaurant.

*** I think it's appropriate that I send my alimony by a postal service called FedEx.