*** In the Olympics China leads with 35 medals, US has 34 medals and South Korea has 16, while no one gives a rat's ass. In a related story the Olympic Committee is investigating reports that all the medals are made of painted-over lead.
*** "Documents reveal that Julia Child Was a Spy"---You mean no one remembers her lesser known book, "The Joy of Spooking"?
*** "Robots to be powered by rat neurons"--- okay, if some guy in Hollywood pitched this as a sci-fi horror flick, he'd be tossed out the door!
*** Rudy Giuliani, reading of John Edwards cheating on his cancer-patient wife, quipped, "Been there! Done that!"
*** A bombshell hit the presidential campaign today when it was revealed that John McCain once owned Barack Obama's great grandfather as a slave.
*** The Food Channel's Rachel Ray entered the hospital today for a much needed "Perkiness Bypass" operation.
*** In a related story, the channel's "Barefoot Contessa" was cited for health violations.
*** All those "Operators Standing By" mentioned on infomerials---damn, can't they give them chairs to sit on??
*** Dr. Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra got into an ugly brawl yesterday over whose concepts of peace and harmony are most effective.
*** "I saw an unusual book yesterday at the library, "Chicken Soup for the Soul of the Decapitated Chicken."
***One thing can be said for being a lesbian trapped in a man's body---no operations required!
*** My psychiatrist kinda annoyed me---he said I should get in touch with my "inner adult" !!
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
No comments:
Post a Comment