Excerpt from missive to my good friend Derek Taylor Shayne (derektaylorshayne.blogspot.com--the funniest blog in the country---as he often tells me!)

The article, which is about the Bradford County Museum--- which is an attraction second only in Florida to Sea Slug World! I mean you, know it's not a crowd-pleaser when half the time the docents don't show up--and I'm not kidding--hand to Jack Paar!!

It's like the old joke about the movie theater in a small town "What time does the movie start?" "What time can you be here?"

But, hardly a surprise---how many times can you look at a cow chip that looks like Jesus?

True story--the guy who's sort of the honcho of the museum told me that one old highly decorated soldier donated his uniform to the place, but frequently comes to take it out of the glass case when he wants to wear it to a function!"

And you were talking about trying to keep a straight face--I find myself asking questions in Bob Newhart style!

"You have to... have to... unlock the , unlock the... heavy glass case and give him his uniform--is that right??

I had to censor the question--"Is he possibly senile and one time left his uniform at home and stood naked in the glass case??"

But mama goes on....

Anyway, the story may not see the light of day for a few weeks yet, as the publisher has, for all practical purposes, cut my job down to 3 hours a week--and those are my LUNCH HOURS!

He all but said a few weeks ago that because of the economy, my job is hanging by a thread, which in turn is hanging by a piece of dental floss fastened to strand of cobweb.

You may see me out on 301 soon with a sign, "Will Tell Bad Jokes for Work!"