Handicapping the Oscars, Part Two

In response to a tidal wave of criticism ((I can dream, can't I?) concerning the fact that I failed to deal with the Best Actor categories in my Oscar handicapping piece yesterday, I now, by popular demen...er..demand, present my picks in the thespian categories:

Best Actor---Male:

Jeff Bridges, playing Robert Duvall in Tender Mercies, , for Crazy Heart..

George Clooney, extending his talents to the very edges of his George Clooney-nish, in Up in the Air

Colin Firth---being all British and barely intelligble in A Single Man ---no wait!! Is that Clive Owens? No, Colin Ferguson, no, wait, Colin Clive, er... Hugh Jackman---well, one of those blokes! Wait ! Isn't that A Serious Man? I'm confused.

Morgan Freeman---Another stretch for Freeman, playing a man of honor, dignity and wisdom in Invictus---it's gettin' old!

Jeremy Renner in The Hurt Locker--- (I thought that was about where I used to get beat up in high school!). As to Mr. Renner's performance---who??

And the winner is... Jeff Bridges--- the academy finally gets around to honoring him for his unforgettable performance in 1976's King Kong.

Best Actor--Female
Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side, another schmaltzy,underdog-to-champion retread.
This time Bullock plays Goldie Hawn in Wildcats..

Helen Mirren---a dame who's inevitably gonna be a Dame, as she's nominated in a film called The Last Station--- I'm not sure, but I think that's where The Serious Man met A Single Man.

Carey Mulligan in An Education---I'm sure that whoever she is, she was noteworthy (Okay, I got nothin' here!)

Gabourey Sidibe for Precious---okay, she may have given a hell of performance, but I hear her family and relatives are buying widescreen TV's to see her in her evening dress.

Meryl Streep---little known actress has done some impressive work over the last 30 years, so she's one to watch!

And the winner is...

Sandra Bullock, who will finally receive recompense for her years being in more turkeys than stuffing!

Ok quick---Best Director---James Cameron's ex, Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker--- it's a little know fact that according to their divorce settlement, she is to receive any Oscars he receives after his first one.
Don't ever mention the name Marvin Mitchelson around Cameron!

Best Supporting Actors--- Monique and Christopher Waltz.

Tomorrow we'll discuss why I was wrong!!