Waiting for Rightie

*** I heard they’re calling one NFL team’s ferocious defensive lineman The Ambulance---he always rushes the quarterback to the hospital.

*** I was listening to a musicologist speaking of Chopin and how one of his pieces was one in which he most bared his soul---The Frank Sonata.
*** A porno novel—a minor work of friction.

*** I tried playing that George Harrison song, but my guitar began bawling loudly.

*** Hugh Hefner is divorcing his wife after she had him charged with “”Assault with a dead weapon”

*** You know what’s fun? Tell a really stoned person to make a mental note.

*** You gotta admit that Billy Joel’s developed quite a paunch---I hear he now sings “A Matter of Truss”!

*** If I were asked what books or films changed my life---well, I’d be amazed!!

*** “Women with lots of cellulite,
Will tell you to put out the light”

*** I was really shy and naïve with women—I remember one evening one asked me if I’d like her to make breakfast for me---I said, sure! What time should I be there??”