The Tao Jones Average

Namaste, Sim Salla Bim, Aloha, Shalom, Vilkum, Bianvenu, Welcome, to Cabaret, oh Ca...

Sorry!! Krishna Morty loves a Broadway melody…and Liza with a Z and Joel with an E!!!

And a Happy New Year to those of the Judaic faith!!
Yep, I was at Times Square last night to watch the matzoh ball fall.
The year 5770---one thing I never understood---if we're 3761 years ahead, how come we don't have any of that futuristic Jetson or Blade Runner stuff?!!
I'll tell ya why, we were too busy for those millenia developing and honing the fine art of guilt.
What? You don't know what guilt is?? ---You should be ashamed!!
But, seriously folks and folkettes, I have come today, after three nights in Vegas where I proselytized at the Lorna Dunes (Lorna with an RN), just outside the city limits where Joe Pesci is buried .
I played to SRO crowds(someone stole the chairs!)

I have had crestfallen acolytes ask me, “Krishna Morty---how can you a holy man, a man of spirit, a man of the One All-Embracing Spiritual Snuggy, go to a town like Vegas---that modern Sodom and Gomorrah, that town of Sin, Greed, Cheap Liaisons, and the constant wailing sounds of Celine Dion---how can you go there??”
I always answer: “Two words: Sin and Cheap!!”
I mean , with all due reverence and respect to Sylviadayenta, she comes across less often than the Titanic!

I tell ya though, a lot of these truth-seekers really need to get lai…er…as I was saying:
If I had a nickel for every time I left Vegas without a nickel, I’d put it in a slot machine!
Krishna Morty remembers doing well in Vegas once. I went there in a $10,000 car and came home in an $80,000 bus. But, what are the Wages of Sin? From what I hear from the Mustang Ranch, about a grand an hour!!

Hey these are the messages of humorous content, folks!!
I wasn't reincarnated here, but I'm sure passing to a new spiritual level, folks!

But I digress from my non sequitur…Speaking of "Attention Deficit Disorder", my nephew in the army got thrown in the stockade for not properly acknowledging his superiors!
He’s seriously screwed up militarily---whenever someone shouted “Salud!!” at a feast, he dropped his glass and put his hand above his eye!

I ran into Wayne Dyer there---it was a stop on his “Excuses Be Gone Tour”---he’s doing very well, God bless him!
He’s manifested quite a future for himself---Houses in Laui, cars, that he claims run on Chi energy, books, T-shirts, tapes, a tie-in with Burger King, karma placement in films….
He has a bit of a chip on his shoulder, though---he kept taunting me that his Higher Self could beat up my Higher Self!
Always feeling sorry for his free-from-ego self!!

He said he went on Antique Road Show with Ghandi’s robes, but was told that they were not worth what he ‘d hoped due to the bullet holes!!
We talked show biz. I asked him how he handled hecklers.
He informed me of his favorite heckler quieters,
“Didn’t you heckle me 20 years ago?---I never forget a dark aura!!
“Did your parents have any children that survived their initial incarnation??”
“As to your wife, the head of Ethiopia may have been Haillie Salassie, but as far as she goes you obviously think Highly of Lassie!
No, I wouldn’t say she’s unappealing to behold, but I bet when you took her to the top of the Empire State Building airplanes started shooting at her!”
Ah, and Deepak Chopra---I love to kid him---“Hey, Deepak, shouldn’t you be on a phone in Bombay helping Americans with their computers??”
He always laughs good-naturedly and counters,
, “Have you been sick?---you look like a fold-out from The Tibetan Book of the Dead!!” and
“May all your multitudinous future incarnations be in Bayonne, New Jersey!!”
Jesus H. Buddha , he cracks me up!!

Hey you ingrates have been guys!!

Peace , Love and Affordable Health Care!