Wednesday, August 19, 2009

You're Darn Tootin'!

*** Actual job ad: Emotionally Disturbed Teacher---BINGO!!!


*** “Buffett says U.S. economy is on slow path to recovery”—says he’s confident he’ll be a multi-billionaire again in no time.

*** When I told my father I wanted to be an accountant, he said “go figure!”

*** I understand there’s a production of Julius Caesar in India, where they changed one of the Bard’s lines: ‘A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave men dies but…oh, about 500 times.’

*** I think we’ve all had that experience of offending someone with a remark that was only intended as humor. I’ve had it at every gig so far.

*** Well, I guess it was inevitable--- my loose-living niece Sultrina has gotten herself in the Family Way. Just a case of one thing leading to a mother!

*** Biblical scholars tell us that Christ loved to tell a joke. He’d ask a supplicant, “What do you call the process by which plants bring water from the soil?” Supplicant “Osmosis!”. The savior would reply “Nice to meet ya, Os Jesus!!”

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