Horse Soup

*** Ya mean, there are no Rural Myths?

*** I told my wife I was looking for a new direction---she suggested the way to the door.

*** A local redneck here sure thinks a lot of himself---he has a sticker on his house, "If this Double-Wide's a-rockin', Dont come a-knockin'!"

*** I read that when Al Capone first arrived at prison, the warden ordered "Deep Lock Ness's Monster!"

*** Last time I go to a sarcastic black doctor---he told me I had Natural Irrhythmia.

*** Definitely quitting my shrink. He told me he had important issues to discuss with me. He had me going with him through back copies of Psychology Today.

*** Death Row---Habitat for Inhumanity.

*** Okay---I have to be hallucinating. They're advertising for the fall on Broadway "The Zapruder Film---the Musical"

*** I saw an outtake from the old film "Little Ceasar" where Edward G. Robinson really flubbed a line.. At the end, he utters "Mother of God! Can this be the end of Emanuel Goldenberg??!"

*** This is one for the Twilight Zone. I strongly felt I was abducted by aliens during the night. I went to a urologist, because I misheard my friend when he told me to see a UFOlogist. But then the doctor told me that the aliens promised my urine sample results will be in by Thursday!