*** After sitting down with pen, paper and calculator and taking stock of my financial situation, I'm comfortable with the fact that losing my job was a good career move.
*** Wow, that hurts!!---after all this time I never knew my wife was anti-semitic---After I told her I was Jewish she made me move into the attic.
*** I once dated a TV newsacaster---sex became a problem---Everytime we'd start she'd shout, "This just in!"
*** We saw an "R" rated film that 'left nothing to the imagination'---nope, there was not one thing about it that was imaginative!
*** My wife said I over-analyze everything. She suggested I go for analysis.
*** We had an unusual bartender in my neighborhood. Before serving a customer he'd subject him to a whole battery of intensely personal questions. We called it passing the Bar Exam.
*** I once went on a double date with a friend of mine. That should have raised red flags. He kept asking his girl whether there were any children at home like her.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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