*** My wife and I spent last night in each other's arms---we were both impressed by the other's arsenal.
*** Apparently at the Oscars, what row a star sits in depends on his or her current box-office appeal---at least that's what ushers Jim Carrey and Sandra Bullock said.
*** My wife told me she likes the way my mind works, but then added, "Ya think you can get the rest of your body employed??"
*** They're marketing a new soft drink aimed at folks vacationing at the beach---Coca Cabana.
*** Great---I just found out my ATM card was nationalized, and they took out my past taxes.
*** Someone told my sister to use hair conditioner---She thought they said air conditioner---Now she's tellin' everyone she had her hair frosted.
*** I wondered what happened to that kid who used to do commercials for computers before he admitted smoking pot. Turns out he's living with his life partner, a produce-grower, whom they call The farmer in the Dell dude.
*** A study concluded that school principals prefer Adminestrone soup.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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