Friday, February 27, 2009

Starke Raving Mad

My crazy Uncle Max with his business schemes. Why he thought a line of Joan Crawford Mothers Day cards would fly, I'll never figure out. Then his line of "My cousin went to the Holocaust Museum and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."

*** That lazy German husband was just able to survive by the sweat of his Frau

*** I asked my bank to send me a statement. They said: "Okay. You're a deadbeat!!"

*** I have to face it. I am Cotumper illiterate.

*** Okay, cute mucus on TV. Book of Revelations, 23:16.

*** My sister never gets it. I had to explain to her that "Girl on Girl, Vol.27" is not a "chick flick."

*** My wife and I had quite a spat last night. We're not sure who spat first.

*** While apologizing for an offense I said, "Hey I'm only human"-she shot back, "No,actually you're Super-human!!

*** During the argument my wife told me to lower my voice.I said, "Oh, so now you don't like my vocal pitch!!"

*** I read a book about a great black leader and the little known fact that he he was once in a jazz combo: "Dubois in the Band".

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