*** I asked my wife why she's so disagreeable sometimes. She said, "As an artist I need my negative space!"
*** I told her not to be such a workaholic or she'd paint herself into a coroner.
*** She specializes in Still Lifes---lately I've been her only subject.
*** Everytime I make an advance she gives me the brush.
*** I saw a show on the Ottoman Empire. I had no idea it fell because everyone had their feet up while invaders poured across its borders.
*** It's funny that, though my wife asks me what restaurant I want to go to, we always wind up going to the one she wants. But I always thank her for asking.
*** Seriously, what the hell do cats do that requires they sleep 90% of the day? I guess digging a fresh place in the litter pan is outright exhausting.
*** Okay, I'm rooting for the Pittsburgh Steelers for no other reason than their name makes sense. The Arizona Cardinals?? In fact, Arizona is one of very few states that the bird is not native to. That's like the Utah Jazz---gimme a break---Yeah, when I think of Utah the two things that come to mind are Mormons and Miles Davis.
*** Psychiatrists!! I related to my shrink a traumatic childhood event when I fell out of a rowboat and pleaded for someone to rescue me. He said, "That was just a cry for help".
*** I heard a guy tell a joke on a farm that was so funny milk came out of a cow's nose!
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
No comments:
Post a Comment