*** My early love life will provide nothing worthy of being recorded in a book like "My Secret Life". I remember one young lady I took home. She yelled "Pull my hair!!" during our intimacies. Boy, I gotta tell you --I felt stupid with that wig in my hand! And I'll spare you the details of where she hung it!
*** This damn house keeps bumping into my big toe.
*** My niece is no Rhodes Scholar. She read about cat, instead of human sexuality. It's destroyed her love life- She said, "You mean I wasn't supposed to let out a blood-curdling shriek of agony at the end and try to claw my partner to death??"
*** I went to a foot doctor yesterday. It's an inspiration how a man that small could achieve what he did.
*** Call me a whacky conspiracy theorists if you must, but I think the Ex-Lax Company's behind out current crisis---I mean, shit is happening with great regularity, isn't it??!
*** I was immediately disillusioned with a psychic I went to see yesterday. She indignantly told me to next time make an appointment so she'd know I was coming!
*** Okay, admit it---don't you give a little supressed giggle when you hear someone referred to as a "seminal" influence?
*** I'm beginning to question my doctor's credentials. Yesterday he said I had too many "electric lights" in my blood. He also said my T-Cells looked good , but the rest of the alphabet was cause for concern. What's really raisin' red flags is this is before he gave me a blood test.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
2 comments:
If it was BEFORE he gave the blood test, why were the flags red?
That's a question entirely in another vein.
Post a Comment