You are Now Free to Roam Around the Plane's Wings.

And now a few words from Bob Hope,courtesy of Heaven:
--- I just saw that movie about a group of attorneys flying to an ABA convention, "Snakes on a Plane".
--- Nah, but Speaking of planes, how 'bout that one in New York going down in the Hudson River?
--- I knew why the plane floated---thanks to pollution, that river has the consistency of hair gel.
--- Many passengers said they owe their survival to the buoyancy provided by the bodies of mob informants.
--- Luckily, all the passengers got off safely, thanks to the dozens of boats that rushed to the rescue. Ten boats alone were filled with personal injury lawyers.
--- They say the plane was disabled when a flock of birds hit its engines. Ironically they were on the way to a casting call for the remake of Hitchcock's movie.
--- There were some scary moments though---rescuers had difficulty with several passengers who refused to unfasten their seatbelts until the sign lit up to do so.
--- One woman was reported to have had two broken legs---this resulted from her fighting off rescuers until she got her complimentary bag of peanuts and a diet coke.
--- But you could tell the media was relieved for once to tell a story with a happy outcome---incredibly high ratings spikes.
--- Other more cynical stations were a little disappointed. One anchorman actually said, "Okay. Move along folks. Show's over. Nothing to see here."
--- Reportedly, Osama bin Laden initially thought his dumb nephew terrorist, Ahmed bin Dimbulbi, decided to attack the Hudson River.
--- Nah, but there's always the people with a positive attitude. One passenger said that to visit the middle of the Hudson River in the dead of winter was on her Bucket List.