*** I love that old classic, "Mr. Salmon, Send Me a Bream".
*** They roasted Cheech and Chong. Talk about redundant!
*** At a sports bar a girl asked me to give her a "high five"---I said, regretably, that was about all I could manage.
*** I'm a film-viewing purist. I went to see "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" and told those people in the audience to stop singing and dancing so I could see the movie.
*** Originally the famous Chicken Ranch whorehouse tried to suggest its services had curative effects by calling it the "Chicken Brothel".
*** I told my obese cousin that I thought she had a skinny person inside of her trying to get out. She said, "I ate the bitch!!"
*** My nephew just sits around all day and smokes pot and watches porn. He gets the munchies so bad that he climaxes in the part of the film where the boy delivers the pizza.
*** I really bombed at my last gig---I could hear the crickets booing.
*** I started to read this book about how to play golf but I didn't like the author's approach.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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