All at Sixes and Pins

THIS IS NEWS TO ME:

Obama: "Recession could 'linger for years' without stimulus"---hey I've lingered for years without stimulus myself.

Palin: 'Media going easier on Kennedy because of class'--- Sarah, you said a mouthful!!!!

"Gators take National Championship, 24-14"---yeah, I can tell by all the police cars, fire engines, SWAT teams and ambulances deployed to Gainesville.

"Man who donated kidney to wife wants it back in divorce"---"Over my dead body!!" she retorts. "Just like you to stab me in the back with a scalpel!! Show me where that's in the pre-nup!!!"
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*** Well, they had to put my crazy cousin Seymour in the looney bin again. Now he's trying to make palindromes out of non-existent words.

*** A gambler, he claimed he was getting tips on NBA scores from Nostradamus's
writings.

*** He got arrested last Halloween for dressing as a nudist.

*** They say genius is never recognized in its own time. Ah, so that's why no one knows my name!

*** I just can't shake the post-Hanukkah let down---can't even bring myself to unplug the Menorah!

*** My friend keeps boasting his wife's a "real head-turner"---big deal, so she's a chiropractor.

*** Since I heard that comets killed the dinosaurs, we only use Ajax.