The Day the Mirth Stood Still

*** Reportedly Kermit is furious at Miss Piggy for giving him a cheap ring. "Now I have a gold ring around the skin on my finger!" complained Kermit.

*** I made an emergency visit to my psychiatrist and told him about a strange dream I had. "I dreamt I was a kid again and was in the kitchen with my mother who was cooking at the stove. When she turned around she had your face!! I drank a coke and came here as soon as I could. Whatdya think it means doc??" "A can of soda?--- this you call a breakfast??" he said.

*** Obama insiders say that he fired a staff member who suggested that, as an attempt to lighten the mood of the nation, he begin his Inaugural Address with, "I got somethin' here I wanna whip out!!"

*** I told my wife that I will leave my work to Posterity. She said, "That's seems fitting, as most of it seems to have come from your Posterior!"

*** I read in the book "Seabiscuit" that his winning so many races was a spur of the moment thing.

*** From viewing educational stations I've learned that Yeti, Sasquatch, the Abominable Snowman and the Skunk Ape are the same creature that doesn't really exist in different parts of the world.

*** My uncle worked in a medical lab which analyzed organs removed during autopsies. He always said he had his work cut out for him.