Freaky Friday

THIS IS NEWS TO ME:

--"John McCain Returns to Campaign Trail"---Uh, hasn't anyone told him?

--"Priest Slams Parishioners Who Voted for Obama"---Did he read that Obama intends to be hard on pedophiles?

--"430-Pound Convict Freed Early Because He's Too Fat"--- Okay, I've heard of getting off for "Good Behavior," but "Good Appetite??" Plus, he complained that the prison stripes were definitely not slenderizing.

--"Trove of Ancient Celtic Coins Discovered in Field"--- Bob Cousey, Bill Russell, John Havlicek and K.C. Jones make claim.
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*** Word is that Hillary Clinton will be the new Secretary of State, while her husband will be in charge of foreign affairs.

*** I suggested to my wife that we make love more often. She said, "Oh, I already started!!

*** I mean how can the new James Bond film fail with a title like "Quantum of Solace"?? Even a rock band wouldn't pick a name that bad!!

*** I wanted to be a tree surgeon, but I can't stand the sight of sap.

*** I've started watching "The Sopranos" for the first time on commercial TV---they have to cut out so many words, each episode is only 17 minutes long! And all this time I thought it was about opera!

*** I read "A Brief History of Time"---exactly what is Stephen Hawking??