This One

*** If Obama's margin over McCain gets any wider McCain will have to start prefacing his remarks with my friend!!

*** There has been much criticism of McCain for dismissively referring to Obama as "that one" during the debate. Oh c'mon! I believe in a senior moment, he just forgot Obama's name.

*** In an interesting moment in a speech yesterday, McCain said, "My fellow prisoners", instead of "Americans". Talk about your uncomfortable Captain Queeg moments!

*** I'd like to know how it was proven that there are no two snowflakes alike! I mean, talk about a bitch of a scientific study!

*** Heather Mills, Paul McCartney's ex, is pushing the idea of using breast, instead of cow milk, on Ben & Jerry in the making of their ice cream. Great! Does that mean after I eat an ice cream cone I'll need to ask someone to burp me??!

*** I know my wife feels like she's in prison in our marriage---last night she said, "You just had a conjugal visit two weeks ago!!"

*** Have you seen the Hardee's commercial about the small, compacted quarter-pound cheeseburger? The joke is 'what happened to the big quarter-pounder after it jumped in a cold pool----shrinkage!! ' Ha Ha. I'm not altogether sure though if I want the image of George Costanza's shriveled penis in my mind while I'm eating a burger!

*** I think I know what's been going wrong with my stand-up appearances---the audience just can't take a joke!

*** Commentators who study the effect of First Ladies on women's fashions and styles, have concluded that if Michelle Obama is First Lady, most white American females will choose to be black.

*** Saw an interesting show on the the Learning Channel last night, concerning an author's theory that crop circles have resulted from an intergalactic topiary contest.