Later Voyager!

*** "Star David Duchovny leaves sex addiction rehab"---you mean it should have been called the "XXX-Files"?

*** Yeah, my aunt was fat---before she went into the ocean for a dip we used to break a bottle of champagne on her ass!

*** That sailor was so greedy---you gave him a winch and he took a yardham!

*** I saw an interesting item in yesterday's obit column---a philanthropist who devoted his life to collecting flowers for people facing a long hospital stay passed away. It said, "In lieu of flowers the family requests that you bring flowers."

*** My wife said she'd like to see me start 'pushing the envelope'---the one with the money in it, in her direction.

*** Admit it--you watched the debate because you wanted to see if Sarah Palin was going to have a complete screaming meltdown---who knew it would be far worse?

*** With just four weeks to go until the election, it's apparent that the McCain campaign is going on the low, muddy road. Sarah Palin, in a speech yesterday, said, "...In these darkie--er...dark times we need a leader, gosh darn, that can lead us out of these spook-y times. A man who can call a spade a spade! A man who can look at those Wall Street fatcats and say, 'Hey, you monkeys, come down from that silly swingin' on the porch!!'A man who can spear Chuck Hagel as being an anti-American white flag waver! A real huntin' man, you betcha, who knows how to tree a coon!..."
By the way, does anyone know what Karl Rove is up to these days?

*** McCain's up there in years---the first girl he dated was a literal Daughter of the American Revolution! In fact, word is that he was forced into a musket marriage!

*** I wouldn't say the Devil Rays destroyed the White Sox, but sports writers are suggesting the Chicago team change its name to the "Crocodile Hunters."

*** My wife says my clothes make a statement---probably something like, "Get me OFF of this Sasquatch!!"

*** Wall Street responded with gusto to the 700 billion bailout, by spending all the money on Lotto tickets!