*** John McCain apologized for referring to Barack Obama as "that one" at the recent debate. "What, I meant to say to him, my friends, is 'you people' "!
*** Literary Criticism: "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea"??? Okay, a league is defined as 3 miles---so the title is referring to 60,000 miles under the sea!! But the earth is only about 8,000 miles in diameter!! What's up with that??!!
*** Following advice, I liquefied all my assets, and then it was down the hatch with a few bottles.
*** My sister drives me to distraction---I told her "Beverly Hills diet, not Beverly Sills! Now she's chubbier and sings arias from Rigoletto!!
*** George Bush is a cowboy, huh? I bet if he were in "Shane" the kid would be yelling at the end, "Go away, Shane-- Stay away!! "
*** I'm on the Jack LaLanne exercise program. Now, I feel like a 94-year-old!!
*** My wife and I were talking about the scene in "The Godfather", where the man winds up with the horse's head in his bed. "Yeah," she said, "and I wound up with a horse's ass!!"
*** My uncle, the inventor, is on the wrong track again. He's working on a cheaper and more efficient alternative to solar power.
*** I was watching part of a baseball playoff game yesterday. They were waiting for the Japanese relief pitcher to come in to relieve the Japanese starter, who was facing a Japanese batter. The situation must have awakened deep social mores in the batter ---he laid down a sacrifice bunt and halfway down the baseline he committed hari kari.
*** A biographer of Buddy Holly reveals that when the singer was performing at his unlikely booking at the Apollo, all he could hear were Crickets.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
1 comment:
When I watched Connie Stevens sing, I always thought of Cricket.
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