Nebbish on Sunday

*** My psychiatrist uncle went broke when he set up a practice for Agoraphobics---none of them showed up for their appointments.

*** A friend said he was a Giant fan. I said, "That's okay---sometimes I think I'm a small air-conditioner!"

*** I don't root for a professional football team. I'm a Dolphin's fan.

*** What's the difference between the Dolphins and a Bus Driver? A bus driver never passes a stop and the Dolphins never stop a pass.

*** When exactly did "Flipper" jump the shark'?

*** Bugs Bunny was arrested for chewing off Carrot Top's head for stealing his material.

*** Sarah Palin believes gays can and should be "cured" of their sexual orientation---well, seems only fitting considering how many men she's probably turned gay.

*** Palin said that she considered the Russians neighbors and gushed about how, on a clear day, she could see Russia from Alaska. She also said she would support a nuclear war with Russia.
In a related story, Palin's home district recently witnessed the DEA cracking down on thousands of crystal meth labs.

*** As Hurricane Ike bore in on Houston, the city sent out an urgent message, "Rest of the country---I think we have a problem!"

*** My wife kept me from checking into a mental hospital---apparently I really did see on TV a lizard with a British accent selling car insurance!