*** Was it Thoreau who said, "The massive men lead lives of diet desperation"?
*** Those donkeys and elephants are real party animals!
*** It was reported today that at Disney World's Hall of Presidents, the Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln robots threw the Bush robot off the stage.
*** I say a real gentleman never hits a woman who's wearing glasses.
*** Despite the bad economy I still have thousands in the bank ---unfortunately, next week I have to send them another thousand.
*** Nothing goes right for me---I opened up an IRA acount and the British army attacked my house.
*** My sister dropped out of cosmetic school because she failed too many make-up exams.
*** My car's in bad shape---the last time it wouldn't start they had to jump it with fibrillator paddles.
*** The Penatgon announced today that the approved phrase for commencing an attack has been officially changed to "Lets Rock'n Roll!" In a related story, the Stones opened a recent concert with "Lets kill everything that moves!"
*** I'm a pretty good driver. I only got one ticket for going through two red lights---unfortunately they were both on the back of a truck!
*** I'm not the greatest auto mechanic---every time my car breaks down I put a "For Sale" sign in the windshield.
***When Hitler took over in germany, all Heil broke loose!
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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